Wednesday, December 24, 2008

A Secret revealed

In Love we reveal ourselves in each others presence. After the first flush of romance it will strip us down. Then love will call up everything within us that is not love, that it may be healed. So to stand in the state of love, and to remain there, is to be inundated and shaken by everything inside that is not love, everything drawn to the healing power of love. A power that does not let us go, does not let us off. It's dizzying. It's frightening. It has no rules. It's deep sweetness, and its great reserves of calm exist only in relation to its capacity for revelation.
It is all about "Love!"

By Michael Ventura
LA-Village View, Feb. 1994

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Reverse Transference


It happened during a healing circle for someone else. So if you want healing then you must love another with all your heart and soul and this happens. This is what "Physician heal thyself" means. "Love one another as your Father/Mother God (first Principal) in Heaven (within) loves you. Experience Pure Energy Light. Ahh the Divine so pure and beautiful. Hard to explain it. I am grateful to have experienced it. If only in a moment, seconds.
Photo by Maro

HAPPY HANUKAH

Fire kept burning through the longest night of the year. On this Wonder Winter Solstice . The word solstice derives from Latin sol (sun) and sistere (to stand still).
Celebrations
Festivals, spending time with loved ones, feasting, singing, dancing, fire in the hearth. I will be thinking about all my loved ones in my life circle. HAPPY HANUKAH.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Slumming in the Hamptons

Giani, Jon, Me, Maro, Louis, Perry. Two weekends
in a month we were all together.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

My Daughter Maro

CONGRATULATIONS MISS MARO. A BEAUTIFUL PHOTOGRAPH IN FRIDAYS NEW YORK TIMES. BY MISS MARO. MORE ON THIS LATER.

Tears of Joy and Sorrow

What is it with me? This being awake in the middle of the night. What about in the day time? No thinking allowed, just living. Does everyone go through this process after a certain age? When the soul seems to be so close to the surface. When it demands attention and resolve and truth. Pray I am able to remember the essence of delivery in the Light of Day.

Friday, December 5, 2008

My Pain Is Gone

And in the midst of it, as in this middle of the night. Comes reason and rhyme . There is Judas everywhere, they create a space for enlightenment. For acknowledgement for the truth that lives and breathes and must play it's part. We wonder why and there it is, like a thunder bolt. They who walk this Judas path, must know great Love for mankind. Tonight for some reason it came to wake me up. What seems unkind is a mighty force of Compassion and Light. So accept what is and bless and be grateful. For in your pain there is Light and Change.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Dance Posing

Laurel and Perry. She is always on his mind.
photo by maro

Play Fighting on the Beach

Boys will be boys. Jon and Perry
photo by maro

Monday, December 1, 2008

QiGong Momma

The Sea air was invigorating so I took advantage of Salt in the Air.

On the Beach

Aunt Maro and Luigi at the beach

Momma Lasagna

Lets face it nothing like a black T-Neck and my signature hat.
photo by Miss Maro

Our Host and Hostess

Sixteen year old Laurel and Perry keeps him young.
photo by miss maro

Family repeat

Hanging out in West Hampton this Motley Crew

Dance Party

Dance Party in the Kitchen after Thanksgiving Dinner at the Beach house.

Moon and You

Monday Night Dec 1st. 2008 The Moon, Venus and Jupiter will be lined up to the visable eye. Look Up. I don't know make a wish or something. haha . The next time it will happen will be 2052.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

1962 The Days and Wine and Roses


First day on the job with the Mad Men. My boss was the Beautiful Greek God, In his Black suit. Black or Gray fine pin stripped suits. It was a lot of fun. I was treated well. Once in a while I would get pulled in the closet. Once or twice. The Christmas parties were the best. 36 floors with a party on each. Before this job I was an Elevator operator. So we would stop on every floor during the holidays. Memories in the corners of my mind.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

The Fairy Tree

A land whether barren or filled with many footprints of years traveled. There stands a "A Fairy Tree" looking out over the land, notice it is not alone, the shadow of it's presence stands like a mirror. Reminding the fairy tree of the importance of it's divine existence upon the land. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXujVtJec_8&feature=related

Monday, November 17, 2008

Lovebirds

Jon and Giani two sweet loving faces. Anuish's (too sweet.)

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Birthday Present Nov. 7, 2008

It works just like a lawn mower but it isn't. It moves just as fast. He climbed upon it and took off and figured out how it worked. Now he is a pro. drives it in fast speed. The slow speed is to slow for him. Dad has already put a hitch on the back. Far cry from a Big Wheel, remember them. click on photo and check out that happy face. Proud Grandma

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Family grins in the sun

I am so Blessed. Add a little Green my throw away camera.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

No Ordinary Full Moon

The full moon nudges me to awaken. Venus promises me new direction. The Full Moon says "Mellow Mellow Yellow." There are no promises. There are no commitments. I am on my own. Fully embellished in what seems to be a long and winding road of mystery and science, of truths and unspoken truths. Silence seeks only cries in the night. Of empty mellow' mellow yellow.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Happy Birthday

Big Guy Lou is 6 years old Nov. 7th. 7/11. High powered numbers. Going to see him this weekend. Yep it is the middle of the night again. Thinking of Louis to fill up my heart. Maybe then I will sleep a little while longer.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

United at Last

HURRAY! OBAMA. His speech had me in tears last night. No politican since Kennedy did that to me. He is inspirational bringing an Artists heart to the table. Balance at last.

Monday, November 3, 2008

OBAMA

DON 'T FORGET TO VOTE FOR YOU KNOW WHO. GRANDMOTHER'S MEAN EVERYTHING TO GRANDSON'S.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Checking in

It crept in those lousy thoughts. In the middle of the night. The ones that remind me of my physical reality. I release them into the ether's. Then go to see if they are still there. They are not. It really works. Until another night a floating image of what If? "I am living with a Ghost in my machine". Song by Anne Lennox. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofvf3tUTGvw

Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween Nightmares

The whole family has come to visit me tonight, on my husband's side, this time. How is it possible to live in an illusion for so many years. I thought they taught me what Love was. My husband taught me how to love. And I married his family too. He did a great job of keeping me protected and safe. How little we know, how much to discover. Tonight I heard my given name called by Harry. I asked what he wanted to tell me. I knew of course, my daughter is home sick alone. We both sit together protecting and keeping her safe in the Light.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM "THE HAGOPIAN'S

Giania, Jon, Me, Louis and Perry Hagopian
Hey this is a first in a long time. Big Jon, me and Perr Bear, Luigi in the pumkin patch. Only Matusha is missing. It was a wonderful day. Just not the same without Maro.

Laurel and Louis and Louis's pet dog for the week. Had to take him everywhere with him as a school project. He took good care of him accept for throwing him at me once. haha Boys will be boys.



Here I am in all my glory amongst my orange colored fruit. Fashion statement.
I have come a long way this year baby...No doubt about it. Thank you Family.



Monday, October 27, 2008

Upside Down

Antsy tonight. 4 AM awake. Am I imagining that the Train whistles, sound like loud, screechy car horns? Tell me they changed them from the old romantic train whistle from the past I once loved? Anyway they no longer put me to sleep. They annoyingly wake me up. Maybe I hear differently since the radiation.
I heard Ella Fitzgerald singing "Must you dance every dance with the same fortunate man? "You have danced with him since the music began, can't you change partners and dance with me." The whole song was to a woman. Ella was I hearing things? I am hearing things vise versa. My hair is itchy, I guess that means it's growing and healing. How can hair be itchy, see what I mean. Weird night.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Darkness in the Middle of the Night


Waiting to go to Doctors today. Another Medication he wants me to take. Another MRI of my head. Unnerving. All of it forces you to go to that dark place I was in last night. I was looking for myself in the dark, trying to see myself. Saying, where am I? Went to the mirror in the dark and there were images and moving waves of light, but not so bright. A man alone. My husband, daughter, tears...The greatest thing is I remembered my dreams. Yes Finally! Takes the edge off of the darkness, knowing everything is temporary. Without Dreams you have nothing. Even darkness is something.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Making out with the Inner Body


Nurit Nardi's class on Guided Imagery at the support house on Wednesday night is
wonderful..Nurit is terrific. Closed eyes in Smart Bells this week another way to become aware of our inner worlds while in movement. Qigong, has captured the graceful bird in all of us. Looks like this is the season for really becoming aware of our inner physical body. Our in and out processes. I guess I am discovering a different in and out in the second half of my life.
MAMO MONTH

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Autumn in New York at the Beach

Autumn on the Beach is pure and heaven and blissfully healing. Huge waves washing the shore calming the nerves edginess with each release of ones salty breath. Hollow and free to refresh ones triple. Remember the Triple in "Trapeze" Tumbling 3 times through the air and landing in the hands of Burt Lancaster. Yep that is what it feels like to serve autumn at the beach.
phi

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Here's Amy

check out that hair do of mine. haha. Good times. Good memories. great growing experiences .. for sure....always in the Love and the Light.
me, Jackie, Ujj and Amy

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Autumn in New York

I am up again at the bewitching hour. Filled with relationship thoughts of the past. Seems the past never really leaves you alone. Once brought to the center of your self. There they are raising their little heads all living in there, saying "You were not there, but I remember you". "Forgotten moments?" "No! "Just not really lived". Because I wasn't there. I am alone now but not really lonely.
Glittering crowds and shimmering clouds in cannons of steel.
Phi

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Pet Scan

Positive results...50% decrease at all sites. It is working. I am most grateful for my horrible experience with treatment. For without it, where would I be? Thank you, thank you to all who have taken part in my support groups. Your encouragement means a lot to me. Your challenge to stretch further makes all the difference. Still 50% more to go. All my Love Forever and for Always.
Philly's healing.

Carried over

Up at 2:00 am ..I just went to bed. well at 10:00 pm. So what am I doing up?
Eyes want to sleep. But soul says no. For somewhere in between is a lingering refrain. Of someone in trouble. I know I cannot help unravel her dilemma. But maybe I can make her life a little easier or get her to clear her mind. To make room for something positive to enter. I am reminded of another, who was very close to me. That helpless feeling. Mixed with not wanting to get emeshed in the web of confusion and chaos. I lost her to her blinded soul. There was no resolve for her. It was to late. The only way out was death. And it was so. I am reminded of the unresolved. I will just listen..and not try to fix. I will just be me. nix fixer upper.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Bewitching Hour

Awakened early to go over and over the same old, same old emotions now mixed in with current events. "quote by James Hollis Ph.D: "When in doubt, administer chocolate". Yet the way forward threatens death-the death which has been familiar, the death of whomever we have been. D.H. Lawrence titled "Snake". She admires the majesty of the creature; on the other hand she fears him. She attacks the serpent. The serpent is choosing to enter the depths, the same depths the speaker fears. In harsh self-judgement, she believes that she has met one of the lords of life. So Anxiety or depression, which do we choose. It is a daily choice. Anxiety will be our companion if we risk the next stage of our journey, and depression our companion if we do not. Anxiety being an elixir and depression a sedative.
From: Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life," Hollis

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Linda Young Dinner Dance

Karren Trent has become famous in my book for using my head as a canvas. Vines and little flowers. Everyone loved what she and I did. Affirming life in the moment.
I won a beautiful Blue Afghan through the silent auction. Plus a lovely surprise from a great friend, a gift of a beautiful ceramic lamp. I will keep the Light on for you. I am Blessed
We had a great time dancing 5 straight long rock n roll dances with "Lark and Will". Barbara, Sister Dorothy, Coy, Ujjala, Sarah, Felicia. We could not be stopped. The music filled our minds and bodies to get lost in the reverie of the rhythm's lifting us to viewing a whole new mind and body. Thank you my gracious Sisters, Sing you Sisters Sing in the Love and Light. Keep on Dancing.
Philly

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Biker Chick


Senior Prom Sept.19, 2008

From left to right: Inez, Philly, Moira, Marilyn, Carol.
We had a very nice time. The music was awesome.
Swing Dancing. The beautiful painting on my head was created by "Marji Roberts" from Lark's support group. Everyone loved it.
Keep those bodies Swinging, Swing Sisters.
Philly

Sunday, September 21, 2008

BIKE FOR CANCER TODAY


I am Biking for Healing. I am Biking for a Cure. I am Biking for all my Brave Heros on this path. Surely change needs to take place. And don't call me Shirley.
Philly be bopping, rock n roller, car hopping, biking fool.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Louis's first Day in Big School PS8

His look is saying "Heck I can handle this".

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

^j^ ^j^ return in the middle of the night

It is 3:30AM, here I am again.
Decided to get up and find what this means. Must be something blowing out of my triple warmer. "shi" teeth slightly parted, lips small smile. Who goes there? What must be revealed? I have forgotten all ready. My inner voice calling to awaken is all that is left. The rest is gone and I am here alone in the night, except for you and me on this cleansing flight.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Susan and Dhanya

Look who came to visit me by email from India. What a sweet, sweet surprise. What a beautiful couple you two make. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo x 3 Love your Light!

Smile it will return


Friday, August 15, 2008

My Honey for 32 years

I still have not found the words to discribe what he was to me. There are no words when Love is there.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

My Intense Scorpio

He is watching the video but he is really taking in the back ground music.
I am going to see Luigi today to do some drumming and singing to his music.
photo: by Perry Hagopian

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Hi Sam old friend

You and your pal looks like you were meant for each other.

Monday, August 4, 2008

My Beautiful and Talented Daughter

Look at those Dark serious Armenian eyes and the Italian creative window.
Photo by: Tina Zimmer

Sunday, August 3, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAUREL

My sweet sweet beautiful daughter in law Laurel and Grandson Louis. We are Blessed having you in our family. You light up the room and your positive vibes linger like a prayer. Happy Happy Birthday Honey.

My Smart Bells Partners

When I see Rhoda and Leigh smiling at me. My heart becomes full. They bless me with their warmth and joy.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Friday, August 1, 2008

Cookie crumbles


Once again the night awakens me. 3:30 AM Prep for the Solar Eclipse? Heart feels heavy. Old memories, unfinished drama's. I took on to be part of my life. Flashbacks almost forgotten. Meaningful events never processed. What do I do with them? Maybe they are saying. "Don't you forget about me". I have and I want too. I cannot be responsible for what happened in her life. Why do you come to me? I cannot make it right. It is to heavy. You chose to leave in the worst possible way. Who possessed you that night? That halloween night.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Two Cool Friends

Michigan Bound! Having fun and trying to stay cool.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I DID NOT FORGET

Happy Birthday Sandy. We should have been 65 together, you, me and Kathy. Miss you and all the laughter. You should see me now. We would have had so much to laugh about.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The Gangs all Here!

Those were the Days! When liquer meant something else.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Long time friend

http://digitalmotionstudios.com/itsabreeze.html

Here is my good old neighbors from Michigan, enjoying the good life in Florida. Ron and Linda one of my soul sisters.