Crusing my mind

Its quarter to 3 there is no one in the place, accept you and me. So set up right there is always a story you aught to write. Could tell you a lot but you have to be true to your code. Make it one for my being here and one more for the road. Got the routine, the middle of the night. The torch that I found must be drowned or it soon might explode, make it one for my being here and one more for the road. you'd never know it but I am a kind of poet and i have a lot of things to say. Have no clue what the script is today. The trains are rolling and whistles are blowing saying, hello hello is anybody there. Maybe I can go back to bed and sleep now.

Margaret Paul Aliano Forbes March 15, 2009

This is a tribute to Margie, Maggie my brother called her. She was my big sister. I remember when she was teaching Pattie and I the Hucklebuck. Her arms and long legs were flying all over the place. Boy could she move her feet this way and that way. She always brought me great fun and comfort. I know you'll be doing all you love to do, once you give us the once over. She will be watching over her brood. Heres to you Margie, I will be thinking of you Margie. photo of Pattie and I back then. click on photo to enlarge. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sT6tc8dPOn4&feature=related

Moody's Mood for Love

This song must be shared. Just like my sister-in-long, we use to call each other. Rae taught me this song and we would sing it out of the blue. While we were waiting in line to get into a restuarant in Las Vegas, or wherever the mood would strike.us. We sang it like the orginal moody's version, faster...not so sexy but bluesy , anyway enjoy watch.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3q7gffjV8k&NR=1

Ain't That lovin you baby

E is on the youtube. Shake off all those blues with this one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wrypfXyOss

In the Still of the Night

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvIRjsbl1Ms&feature=related Nothing is ever lost.

Working it out

Pet Scan Cat Scan did not show the site of importance. So maybe it has disappeared. They blame it on the tech who didn't know to do the whole person. He has done me a favor even though it took awhile to sink in. Message from the Universe. Disappearance is possible. Just don't go there with worry. No new sites so I am in good shape. With a little Arnicare Gel, epsom salts baths, peroxide ears, exercise, biking and laying flat on the floor for an hour, guarantees a straight back, food in moderation the hardest part. A little loving would be a plus. A whole month without seeing or hugging my Louis has taken its toll. My heart sighs for him...photo by Perry Hagopian

FROM ELLA TO HARRY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNNzarG15tU Experience Ella singing a saxophone. My husband's favorite song, he played it on the saxophone over the school PA system just like Ella.

You know about this

Woke up realizing I created some tension . Realizing enough is enough I need to move on. Then the thinking mind says, to what? To death? Perhaps or not. Another test, my will is getting weaker, I can feel it as well as my thinking mind that pursues the fears. Harder and harder to ignor the thinker. I am sorry, I never meant to hurt you. You, me, all. All the days of my life drama. Today the results another day to face. As faces go. I won't bother you, me, all. I will let it go. My life is my own. I will live.

Reuniting in the Course of Time

I hear I am not alone in the bewitching hour of 3, 4, or 5 AM. This is comforting some how. Perhaps we can form a circle and sit as the elders once did if only in consciousness. Not only in American Indian tradition for I have memories as a child of all the women gathered on the porches canning and talking and laughing. This is what we were meant to do. For within this circle comes the values of hidden treasures of times past and gone but the truth lingers within its embrace of our existence. We are not meant to be alone. And we are not as long as we know this. So gather here and now and reveal our inner most treasures. I will hold a place for you in our circle where the deepest darkness reveals our souls delight, where Love and Light and Laughter is born.

Rails to Coney Island on a Raining Day.

Louis is the happiest when he is riding the rails. Knows all the train letters. And where they go to. Really is a romantic city boy. His Great Grandmother Mary and Great Grandfather Louis, Honeymooned in Coney Island in 1927.
photo by : Perry Hagopian

Oscars

Congratulations to Kate Winslet and Sean Penn. Well deserved. The Academy got it right. Great show by the way. Need better Music..I thought I heard Bonanza at one point. oy vay. Was that also in Slumdog? Maybe, I think they covered everything in that film. Nothing left for future films... haha...well with that many people there are many stories to tell. (Everyone nominated deserved an Oscar this year}.

Blooming Drama

Woke up with ego in full bloom. Feeling ugly and old and bald and sad. Ego has a hold of me again. Trying to survive it brings misery and graying aura, holding me down and smacking me left and right. Beating me up and to make me sad. I have no right to feel good it says. You must be punished and stripped of your promise. Who are you? Where did you come from? Surely not from this low place. Then why must I go there? They say within me is a part of God. I have known this even in the hardest of times. But I was linked to others. Tonight I feel the separation.
I am fit, fat and fine. I know it is only temporary this middle of the night mare.

Techno Optics

Hunka Hunka Burning Love.

http://thehumorzone.co.uk/Videos/elvis_celine.wmv <---- click . In front of a live audience.

New Artist In Bushwick

I match the frame and the floor molding. haha...
photo by Maro

Hi Grandma

I AM KEEPING AN EYE ON YOU GRANDMA

photo by Perry

NINA SIMONE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUcXI2BIUOQ&feature=related Listen to the whole thing.

Tears on my Guitar

My daughter Maro did photo shoot for Sirius radio of Taylor Swift. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7DRtl6CTqc check her out a sweet 19 year old super star. Hope she stays sweet.

Congratulations America 2009

Purple mountains majesty. Service to the people, for the people, by the people.

People who love People. The world feels a little kinder more loving. At Last!

Expect only miracles. For when millions of people are positive miracles happen.

We have a little sugar in our bowl.

An old friend Sam

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDEKLFR5vPM chopin minute waltz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5LDvgcBKkM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGekSz3Yv0Y

Had not touched piano in 30 years. Blessed Gift.

Trance Warrior

Photo by Maro 2008

Artist Statement by Maro Hagopian

TRANCE WARRIOR

A few months ago my Mother was diagnosed with skull cancer. I had a very difficult time handling this news. In fact I shut down socially for weeks unable to leave my Brooklyn apartment.
I finally got myself together and took a bus upstate to see her. I was scared I would completely break down in front of her cause she was losing her hair and her head was burned from the radiation. I was concerned I would not be able to be strong out of my own fear of what she was embarking on.
When she picked me up at the bus station who I saw was not a victim or patient with cancer. In fact the opposite was true. Her shaved head and sporadic bald patches on her head made her look like a warrior.
From her I felt this overwhelming feeling of optimism and faith. I realized my Mother was a survivor. That her soul was everlasting and her heart was fierce. That she was a fighter in the true sense of the word.
This photo means a lot to me because she trusted me to take it and it captures the feeling I felt when I saw her in her first weeks of radiation treatment. That life is a state of mind and you NEVER give up no matter what challenges your faced with.
Courageous Warrior
Conquers Cancer
I see Strength
I see Heart
I see You.

By Daughter Maro.
I finally figured out how to post this Artist Statement from my lovely Daughter Maro. This is the greatest gift of truth, love, openness of the heart. I will treasure forever.

Practicing

Harry was there helping me pack the house up. I was choosing what to take and what to leave. The dryer buzzer went off, he said I'll get them and fold clothes for you. We seemed to be in a hurray. The house was dark and gloomy. I remember breakables in a box with towels on top. Then I said to him, you better come and get me. Thinking when its time. He took my hand and we were walking together.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Do I have a message for the New Year? I slept through New Years celebration.
All I know is the ultrasound could not find my ovaries. That was a little disheartening. At least I know why the "thrill is gone".
But something has replaced it. A different kind of juice. A freeing up of outdated and over worked posturer. Bald is beautiful. A New Day, a New Year. The inner shelf life shall be celebrated, blessed and expressed.
..perhaps 2009 will turn out to be a joke. Like the jokes on us. Laugh! its only temporary.
Don't buy into economy fears. It is only a game. Don't play it and do not believe in those who say nay.
This year is a power number 11. Expect only miracles. AND THAT'S THE TRRRUUUTH!
ok I am whacked!

New Years Eve

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kU_BBNeumLI&feature=related

A Secret revealed

In Love we reveal ourselves in each others presence. After the first flush of romance it will strip us down. Then love will call up everything within us that is not love, that it may be healed. So to stand in the state of love, and to remain there, is to be inundated and shaken by everything inside that is not love, everything drawn to the healing power of love. A power that does not let us go, does not let us off. It's dizzying. It's frightening. It has no rules. It's deep sweetness, and its great reserves of calm exist only in relation to its capacity for revelation.
It is all about "Love!"

By Michael Ventura
LA-Village View, Feb. 1994

Reverse Transference

It happened during a healing circle for someone else. So if you want healing then you must love another with all your heart and soul and this happens. This is what "Physician heal thyself" means. "Love one another as your Father/Mother God (first Principal) in Heaven (within) loves you. Experience Pure Energy Light. Ahh the Divine so pure and beautiful. Hard to explain it. I am grateful to have experienced it. If only in a moment, seconds.

Photo by Maro

HAPPY HANUKAH

Fire kept burning through the longest night of the year. On this Wonder Winter Solstice . The word solstice derives from Latin sol (sun) and sistere (to stand still).
Celebrations
Festivals, spending time with loved ones, feasting, singing, dancing, fire in the hearth. I will be thinking about all my loved ones in my life circle. HAPPY HANUKAH.

Miss Maro Photographer

Here she is Photo taker, Eyes of Laura Mars

Angels

Mom and Louis
photo by maro

Poppa Bear

photo by Maro

More of Maro's Photos

Getting long and tall

Louis Wells Hagopian

Maro's Photos

Slumming in the Hamptons

Giani, Jon, Me, Maro, Louis, Perry. Two weekends
in a month we were all together.

My Daughter Maro

CONGRATULATIONS MISS MARO. A BEAUTIFUL PHOTOGRAPH IN FRIDAYS NEW YORK TIMES. BY MISS MARO. MORE ON THIS LATER.

Tears of Joy and Sorrow

What is it with me? This being awake in the middle of the night. What about in the day time? No thinking allowed, just living. Does everyone go through this process after a certain age? When the soul seems to be so close to the surface. When it demands attention and resolve and truth. Pray I am able to remember the essence of delivery in the Light of Day.

My Pain Is Gone

And in the midst of it, as in this middle of the night. Comes reason and rhyme . There is Judas everywhere, they create a space for enlightenment. For acknowledgement for the truth that lives and breathes and must play it's part. We wonder why and there it is, like a thunder bolt. They who walk this Judas path, must know great Love for mankind. Tonight for some reason it came to wake me up. What seems unkind is a mighty force of Compassion and Light. So accept what is and bless and be grateful. For in your pain there is Light and Change.

Dance Posing

Laurel and Perry. She is always on his mind.

photo by maro

Play Fighting on the Beach

Boys will be boys. Jon and Perry

photo by maro

QiGong Momma

The Sea air was invigorating so I took advantage of Salt in the Air.

On the Beach

Aunt Maro and Luigi at the beach

Momma Lasagna

Lets face it nothing like a black T-Neck and my signature hat.

photo by Miss Maro

Our Host and Hostess

Sixteen year old Laurel and Perry keeps him young.

photo by miss maro

Family repeat

Hanging out in West Hampton this Motley Crew

Dance Party

Dance Party in the Kitchen after Thanksgiving Dinner at the Beach house.

Moon and You

Monday Night Dec 1st. 2008 The Moon, Venus and Jupiter will be lined up to the visable eye. Look Up. I don't know make a wish or something. haha . The next time it will happen will be 2052.

A little Treat for Thanksgiving

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7cbQjC8IV8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqYSBT9-d88

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AkU9iXdhY4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55wWiFi6BFo&feature=related

The memories are worth it. Look at the memories on the faces of the audience.

HAPPY THANKS FOR ALL THE THANKSGIVINGS AND ALL THE LOVING MEMORIES.

1962 The Days and Wine and Roses

First day on the job with the Mad Men. My boss was the Beautiful Greek God, In his Black suit. Black or Gray fine pin stripped suits. It was a lot of fun. I was treated well. Once in a while I would get pulled in the closet. Once or twice. The Christmas parties were the best. 36 floors with a party on each. Before this job I was an Elevator operator. So we would stop on every floor during the holidays. Memories in the corners of my mind.

The Fairy Tree

A land whether barren or filled with many footprints of years traveled. There stands a "A Fairy Tree" looking out over the land, notice it is not alone, the shadow of it's presence stands like a mirror. Reminding the fairy tree of the importance of it's divine existence upon the land. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXujVtJec_8&feature=related

Lovebirds

Jon and Giani two sweet loving faces. Anuish's (too sweet.)

Birthday Present Nov. 7, 2008

It works just like a lawn mower but it isn't. It moves just as fast. He climbed upon it and took off and figured out how it worked. Now he is a pro. drives it in fast speed. The slow speed is to slow for him. Dad has already put a hitch on the back. Far cry from a Big Wheel, remember them. click on photo and check out that happy face. Proud Grandma

Family grins in the sun

I am so Blessed. Add a little Green my throw away camera.

No Ordinary Full Moon

The full moon nudges me to awaken. Venus promises me new direction. The Full Moon says "Mellow Mellow Yellow." There are no promises. There are no commitments. I am on my own. Fully embellished in what seems to be a long and winding road of mystery and science, of truths and unspoken truths. Silence seeks only cries in the night. Of empty mellow' mellow yellow.

Happy Birthday

Big Guy Lou is 6 years old Nov. 7th. 7/11. High powered numbers. Going to see him this weekend. Yep it is the middle of the night again. Thinking of Louis to fill up my heart. Maybe then I will sleep a little while longer.

United at Last

HURRAY! OBAMA. His speech had me in tears last night. No politican since Kennedy did that to me. He is inspirational bringing an Artists heart to the table. Balance at last.

OBAMA

DON 'T FORGET TO VOTE FOR YOU KNOW WHO. GRANDMOTHER'S MEAN EVERYTHING TO GRANDSON'S.

Checking in

It crept in those lousy thoughts. In the middle of the night. The ones that remind me of my physical reality. I release them into the ether's. Then go to see if they are still there. They are not. It really works. Until another night a floating image of what If? "I am living with a Ghost in my machine". Song by Anne Lennox. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofvf3tUTGvw

Halloween Nightmares

The whole family has come to visit me tonight, on my husband's side, this time. How is it possible to live in an illusion for so many years. I thought they taught me what Love was. My husband taught me how to love. And I married his family too. He did a great job of keeping me protected and safe. How little we know, how much to discover. Tonight I heard my given name called by Harry. I asked what he wanted to tell me. I knew of course, my daughter is home sick alone. We both sit together protecting and keeping her safe in the Light.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM "THE HAGOPIAN'S

Giania, Jon, Me, Louis and Perry Hagopian

Hey this is a first in a long time. Big Jon, me and Perr Bear, Luigi in the pumkin patch. Only Matusha is missing. It was a wonderful day. Just not the same without Maro.

Laurel and Louis and Louis's pet dog for the week. Had to take him everywhere with him as a school project. He took good care of him accept for throwing him at me once. haha Boys will be boys.

Here I am in all my glory amongst my orange colored fruit. Fashion statement.

I have come a long way this year baby...No doubt about it. Thank you Family.

Upside Down

Antsy tonight. 4 AM awake. Am I imagining that the Train whistles, sound like loud, screechy car horns? Tell me they changed them from the old romantic train whistle from the past I once loved? Anyway they no longer put me to sleep. They annoyingly wake me up. Maybe I hear differently since the radiation.
I heard Ella Fitzgerald singing "Must you dance every dance with the same fortunate man? "You have danced with him since the music began, can't you change partners and dance with me." The whole song was to a woman. Ella was I hearing things? I am hearing things vise versa. My hair is itchy, I guess that means it's growing and healing. How can hair be itchy, see what I mean. Weird night.

Darkness in the Middle of the Night

Waiting to go to Doctors today. Another Medication he wants me to take. Another MRI of my head. Unnerving. All of it forces you to go to that dark place I was in last night. I was looking for myself in the dark, trying to see myself. Saying, where am I? Went to the mirror in the dark and there were images and moving waves of light, but not so bright. A man alone. My husband, daughter, tears...The greatest thing is I remembered my dreams. Yes Finally! Takes the edge off of the darkness, knowing everything is temporary. Without Dreams you have nothing. Even darkness is something.

Making out with the Inner Body

Nurit Nardi's class on Guided Imagery at the support house on Wednesday night is
wonderful..Nurit is terrific. Closed eyes in Smart Bells this week another way to become aware of our inner worlds while in movement. Qigong, has captured the graceful bird in all of us. Looks like this is the season for really becoming aware of our inner physical body. Our in and out processes. I guess I am discovering a different in and out in the second half of my life.

MAMO MONTH

Autumn in New York at the Beach

Autumn on the Beach is pure and heaven and blissfully healing. Huge waves washing the shore calming the nerves edginess with each release of ones salty breath. Hollow and free to refresh ones triple. Remember the Triple in "Trapeze" Tumbling 3 times through the air and landing in the hands of Burt Lancaster. Yep that is what it feels like to serve autumn at the beach.
phi

Here's Amy

check out that hair do of mine. haha. Good times. Good memories. great growing experiences .. for sure....always in the Love and the Light.
me, Jackie, Ujj and Amy

Autumn in New York

I am up again at the bewitching hour. Filled with relationship thoughts of the past. Seems the past never really leaves you alone. Once brought to the center of your self. There they are raising their little heads all living in there, saying "You were not there, but I remember you". "Forgotten moments?" "No! "Just not really lived". Because I wasn't there. I am alone now but not really lonely.
Glittering crowds and shimmering clouds in cannons of steel.
Phi

Pet Scan

Positive results...50% decrease at all sites. It is working. I am most grateful for my horrible experience with treatment. For without it, where would I be? Thank you, thank you to all who have taken part in my support groups. Your encouragement means a lot to me. Your challenge to stretch further makes all the difference. Still 50% more to go. All my Love Forever and for Always.
Philly's healing.

Carried over

Up at 2:00 am ..I just went to bed. well at 10:00 pm. So what am I doing up?
Eyes want to sleep. But soul says no. For somewhere in between is a lingering refrain. Of someone in trouble. I know I cannot help unravel her dilemma. But maybe I can make her life a little easier or get her to clear her mind. To make room for something positive to enter. I am reminded of another, who was very close to me. That helpless feeling. Mixed with not wanting to get emeshed in the web of confusion and chaos. I lost her to her blinded soul. There was no resolve for her. It was to late. The only way out was death. And it was so. I am reminded of the unresolved. I will just listen..and not try to fix. I will just be me. nix fixer upper.

The Bewitching Hour

Awakened early to go over and over the same old, same old emotions now mixed in with current events. "quote by James Hollis Ph.D: "When in doubt, administer chocolate". Yet the way forward threatens death-the death which has been familiar, the death of whomever we have been. D.H. Lawrence titled "Snake". She admires the majesty of the creature; on the other hand she fears him. She attacks the serpent. The serpent is choosing to enter the depths, the same depths the speaker fears. In harsh self-judgement, she believes that she has met one of the lords of life. So Anxiety or depression, which do we choose. It is a daily choice. Anxiety will be our companion if we risk the next stage of our journey, and depression our companion if we do not. Anxiety being an elixir and depression a sedative.
From: Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life," Hollis

Linda Young Dinner Dance

Karren Trent has become famous in my book for using my head as a canvas. Vines and little flowers. Everyone loved what she and I did. Affirming life in the moment.
I won a beautiful Blue Afghan through the silent auction. Plus a lovely surprise from a great friend, a gift of a beautiful ceramic lamp. I will keep the Light on for you. I am Blessed
We had a great time dancing 5 straight long rock n roll dances with "Lark and Will". Barbara, Sister Dorothy, Coy, Ujjala, Sarah, Felicia. We could not be stopped. The music filled our minds and bodies to get lost in the reverie of the rhythm's lifting us to viewing a whole new mind and body. Thank you my gracious Sisters, Sing you Sisters Sing in the Love and Light. Keep on Dancing.
Philly

Biker Chick

Senior Prom Sept.19, 2008

From left to right: Inez, Philly, Moira, Marilyn, Carol.
We had a very nice time. The music was awesome.
Swing Dancing. The beautiful painting on my head was created by "Marji Roberts" from Lark's support group. Everyone loved it.
Keep those bodies Swinging, Swing Sisters.
Philly

BIKE FOR CANCER TODAY

I am Biking for Healing. I am Biking for a Cure. I am Biking for all my Brave Heros on this path. Surely change needs to take place. And don't call me Shirley.
Philly be bopping, rock n roller, car hopping, biking fool.

Check this out

http://hragvartanian.com/2008/09/07/1594/

Louis's first Day in Big School PS8

His look is saying "Heck I can handle this".

^j^ ^j^ return in the middle of the night

It is 3:30AM, here I am again.

Decided to get up and find what this means. Must be something blowing out of my triple warmer. "shi" teeth slightly parted, lips small smile. Who goes there? What must be revealed? I have forgotten all ready. My inner voice calling to awaken is all that is left. The rest is gone and I am here alone in the night, except for you and me on this cleansing flight.

My doll babies

Back when hair ruled.

Susan and Dhanya

Look who came to visit me by email from India. What a sweet, sweet surprise. What a beautiful couple you two make. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo x 3 Love your Light!

Smile it will return

My Honey for 32 years

I still have not found the words to discribe what he was to me. There are no words when Love is there.