HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM "THE HAGOPIAN'S

Giania, Jon, Me, Louis and Perry Hagopian

Hey this is a first in a long time. Big Jon, me and Perr Bear, Luigi in the pumkin patch. Only Matusha is missing. It was a wonderful day. Just not the same without Maro.

Laurel and Louis and Louis's pet dog for the week. Had to take him everywhere with him as a school project. He took good care of him accept for throwing him at me once. haha Boys will be boys.

Here I am in all my glory amongst my orange colored fruit. Fashion statement.

I have come a long way this year baby...No doubt about it. Thank you Family.

Upside Down

Antsy tonight. 4 AM awake. Am I imagining that the Train whistles, sound like loud, screechy car horns? Tell me they changed them from the old romantic train whistle from the past I once loved? Anyway they no longer put me to sleep. They annoyingly wake me up. Maybe I hear differently since the radiation.
I heard Ella Fitzgerald singing "Must you dance every dance with the same fortunate man? "You have danced with him since the music began, can't you change partners and dance with me." The whole song was to a woman. Ella was I hearing things? I am hearing things vise versa. My hair is itchy, I guess that means it's growing and healing. How can hair be itchy, see what I mean. Weird night.

Darkness in the Middle of the Night

Waiting to go to Doctors today. Another Medication he wants me to take. Another MRI of my head. Unnerving. All of it forces you to go to that dark place I was in last night. I was looking for myself in the dark, trying to see myself. Saying, where am I? Went to the mirror in the dark and there were images and moving waves of light, but not so bright. A man alone. My husband, daughter, tears...The greatest thing is I remembered my dreams. Yes Finally! Takes the edge off of the darkness, knowing everything is temporary. Without Dreams you have nothing. Even darkness is something.

Making out with the Inner Body

Nurit Nardi's class on Guided Imagery at the support house on Wednesday night is
wonderful..Nurit is terrific. Closed eyes in Smart Bells this week another way to become aware of our inner worlds while in movement. Qigong, has captured the graceful bird in all of us. Looks like this is the season for really becoming aware of our inner physical body. Our in and out processes. I guess I am discovering a different in and out in the second half of my life.

MAMO MONTH

Autumn in New York at the Beach

Autumn on the Beach is pure and heaven and blissfully healing. Huge waves washing the shore calming the nerves edginess with each release of ones salty breath. Hollow and free to refresh ones triple. Remember the Triple in "Trapeze" Tumbling 3 times through the air and landing in the hands of Burt Lancaster. Yep that is what it feels like to serve autumn at the beach.
phi

Here's Amy

check out that hair do of mine. haha. Good times. Good memories. great growing experiences .. for sure....always in the Love and the Light.
me, Jackie, Ujj and Amy

Autumn in New York

I am up again at the bewitching hour. Filled with relationship thoughts of the past. Seems the past never really leaves you alone. Once brought to the center of your self. There they are raising their little heads all living in there, saying "You were not there, but I remember you". "Forgotten moments?" "No! "Just not really lived". Because I wasn't there. I am alone now but not really lonely.
Glittering crowds and shimmering clouds in cannons of steel.
Phi

Pet Scan

Positive results...50% decrease at all sites. It is working. I am most grateful for my horrible experience with treatment. For without it, where would I be? Thank you, thank you to all who have taken part in my support groups. Your encouragement means a lot to me. Your challenge to stretch further makes all the difference. Still 50% more to go. All my Love Forever and for Always.
Philly's healing.

Carried over

Up at 2:00 am ..I just went to bed. well at 10:00 pm. So what am I doing up?
Eyes want to sleep. But soul says no. For somewhere in between is a lingering refrain. Of someone in trouble. I know I cannot help unravel her dilemma. But maybe I can make her life a little easier or get her to clear her mind. To make room for something positive to enter. I am reminded of another, who was very close to me. That helpless feeling. Mixed with not wanting to get emeshed in the web of confusion and chaos. I lost her to her blinded soul. There was no resolve for her. It was to late. The only way out was death. And it was so. I am reminded of the unresolved. I will just listen..and not try to fix. I will just be me. nix fixer upper.

The Bewitching Hour

Awakened early to go over and over the same old, same old emotions now mixed in with current events. "quote by James Hollis Ph.D: "When in doubt, administer chocolate". Yet the way forward threatens death-the death which has been familiar, the death of whomever we have been. D.H. Lawrence titled "Snake". She admires the majesty of the creature; on the other hand she fears him. She attacks the serpent. The serpent is choosing to enter the depths, the same depths the speaker fears. In harsh self-judgement, she believes that she has met one of the lords of life. So Anxiety or depression, which do we choose. It is a daily choice. Anxiety will be our companion if we risk the next stage of our journey, and depression our companion if we do not. Anxiety being an elixir and depression a sedative.
From: Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life," Hollis

Linda Young Dinner Dance

Karren Trent has become famous in my book for using my head as a canvas. Vines and little flowers. Everyone loved what she and I did. Affirming life in the moment.
I won a beautiful Blue Afghan through the silent auction. Plus a lovely surprise from a great friend, a gift of a beautiful ceramic lamp. I will keep the Light on for you. I am Blessed
We had a great time dancing 5 straight long rock n roll dances with "Lark and Will". Barbara, Sister Dorothy, Coy, Ujjala, Sarah, Felicia. We could not be stopped. The music filled our minds and bodies to get lost in the reverie of the rhythm's lifting us to viewing a whole new mind and body. Thank you my gracious Sisters, Sing you Sisters Sing in the Love and Light. Keep on Dancing.
Philly

Biker Chick

Senior Prom Sept.19, 2008

From left to right: Inez, Philly, Moira, Marilyn, Carol.
We had a very nice time. The music was awesome.
Swing Dancing. The beautiful painting on my head was created by "Marji Roberts" from Lark's support group. Everyone loved it.
Keep those bodies Swinging, Swing Sisters.
Philly

BIKE FOR CANCER TODAY

I am Biking for Healing. I am Biking for a Cure. I am Biking for all my Brave Heros on this path. Surely change needs to take place. And don't call me Shirley.
Philly be bopping, rock n roller, car hopping, biking fool.

Check this out

http://hragvartanian.com/2008/09/07/1594/

Louis's first Day in Big School PS8

His look is saying "Heck I can handle this".

^j^ ^j^ return in the middle of the night

It is 3:30AM, here I am again.

Decided to get up and find what this means. Must be something blowing out of my triple warmer. "shi" teeth slightly parted, lips small smile. Who goes there? What must be revealed? I have forgotten all ready. My inner voice calling to awaken is all that is left. The rest is gone and I am here alone in the night, except for you and me on this cleansing flight.

My doll babies

Back when hair ruled.

Susan and Dhanya

Look who came to visit me by email from India. What a sweet, sweet surprise. What a beautiful couple you two make. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo x 3 Love your Light!

Smile it will return

My Honey for 32 years

I still have not found the words to discribe what he was to me. There are no words when Love is there.

My Intense Scorpio

He is watching the video but he is really taking in the back ground music.
I am going to see Luigi today to do some drumming and singing to his music.
photo: by Perry Hagopian

Hi Sam old friend

You and your pal looks like you were meant for each other.

My Beautiful and Talented Daughter

Look at those Dark serious Armenian eyes and the Italian creative window.

Photo by: Tina Zimmer

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAUREL

My sweet sweet beautiful daughter in law Laurel and Grandson Louis. We are Blessed having you in our family. You light up the room and your positive vibes linger like a prayer. Happy Happy Birthday Honey.

My Smart Bells Partners

When I see Rhoda and Leigh smiling at me. My heart becomes full. They bless me with their warmth and joy.

I want my hair back

Grandma and Louis

Cookie crumbles

Once again the night awakens me. 3:30 AM Prep for the Solar Eclipse? Heart feels heavy. Old memories, unfinished drama's. I took on to be part of my life. Flashbacks almost forgotten. Meaningful events never processed. What do I do with them? Maybe they are saying. "Don't you forget about me". I have and I want too. I cannot be responsible for what happened in her life. Why do you come to me? I cannot make it right. It is to heavy. You chose to leave in the worst possible way. Who possessed you that night? That halloween night.

Two Cool Friends

Michigan Bound! Having fun and trying to stay cool.

I DID NOT FORGET

Happy Birthday Sandy. We should have been 65 together, you, me and Kathy. Miss you and all the laughter. You should see me now. We would have had so much to laugh about.

The Gangs all Here!

Those were the Days! When liquer meant something else.

Long time friend

http://digitalmotionstudios.com/itsabreeze.html

Here is my good old neighbors from Michigan, enjoying the good life in Florida. Ron and Linda one of my soul sisters.

Happy Birthday Morning Ride

http://youtube.com/watch?v=kyd-dnaz_m0 Give this a click on me.

Crop Circle discovered in Britain

Barley Fields in Wiltshire

VEGAS BOUND

My brother Tony is going to have an honor guard service.

Memories

GEEZ THE SMELL OF "RAIN" IS INTOXICATING. Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain.

what do you all think of this click on

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULlWxIk-PUc

He Saves me

Louis Wells Hagopian

photo by Perry Hagopian

Night Sounds at 3 :30 AM

I end it when it has been finished. Have I suffered enough? I don't believe I have to suffer. It doesn't make sense to me. This is good sense. And so it is. You have work to do. I need to get there first. How do I help others, when I am having trouble helping myself to feel as a channel of your highest good. You have the power. You only need to activate. Seems like most of us here. I need something to inspire me or something from the outside to activate the inside. To have such power, there must be grace and humility as well. Is this why my ego has been taken away? Only temporary. I want to believe this..my fear lingers. How foolish we humans...it is not fear, it is sadness...

Lila Kay Schwartz- May 28th, 2008

Guess who this brand new girl looks like?

Ujjala Schwartz, proud grandma.

Auntie Philly

Anthony Michael Aliano- 6-22-1929 to 5-27-2008

This is my big brother Tony. We were very close. He was like a father to me. I love him very much. I sat upon his shoulders to see Ricky Nelson at the steel pier in Atlantic city. Bobby Darin too. He gave me my first corsage. He and his wife Harriet even went on our honeymoon with my husband and I. haha. We had the best time driving across country, except for the adjoining rooms, he would get for us. I think he kept forgetting, I just got married. haha. He was a great planner and traveler. I pray now for a safe highway for him to travel on and a well planned trip. Blessings now and forever my wonderful brother. Thank you for all the great times and for being so good to me. I will miss you. Love and Light, Sis Phyllis
Tony, 3 days after he passed, came to me and talked into my ear and said. "I AM ALL RIGHT NOW SIS. Just as clear as if he were standing right next to me.

Strange kind of Poetry

My assignment for the week, from poetry class, is to stay in the moment. It was very enlightening. I discovered I was depressed. haha. How can you be depressed and not know it? "Maybe it is all an illusion". "Maybe we make up all these things and label them". "Maybe we are suppose to go within and just hide for a while". "Maybe to cleanse out all thoughts and get ready to start over". "Maybe the body knows what the mind and spirit need". "To many maybe's".

I did discover in the moment each tree leaf along my walking path, has it's own unique smell.

phi

The word is out!

Vatican says it is all right to believe in Aliens"..hmm....Well their catching up.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON

I was hoping Perry would be born on Mother's Day. But we decided the middle of the night was best. Have a great year Son. "Louis's Daddy".

photo by: Maro

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

TO ALL YOU WONDERFUL WOMEN OUT THERE WHO HAVE BEEN THERE FOR SOMEONE.

"YOU BETTER GET BETTER"!

This arrived today from my friend Kathy in Michigan. I guess I have to get on with it. Nothing like getting a threat from a very cool Kat. haha.

Thelma and Louise

Looking out at the terrain and the journey ahead. Highway 401

My Son Jon

He comforts me with his Love and Devotion. He heals me with his Presence. Thank you Son, for being there for me daily. He said to me, "It will be Ok Mom, we will go through it together" and we did for 6 weeks.

The First Contributor

This Photo Tells It All For Me.

Photo by: MARO

Not lost in Transition

Silently speak in my most sacred place, with humility and gratefulness. We never know what we have to experience in this life to bring us to this place where, "naught can be said".
phi

Happy Happy Birthday Baby!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=kyd-dnaz_m0&feature=related

My Weekend Healer

He said, "Grandma you look like a Grandpa". haha. He kept caressing my head with such joy in his Being. "If we could be as little children". The Greatest of all Blessings. Thank you Laurel my sweet, sweet daughter in law.

Wholeness

I am close. It will soon be over. I cannot sleep tonight, lights around my left eye flashing electrical messages. I read them. The pulling of the past reveals itself. I need to separate from it. But the pain is to much. Who and what will replace it. Will I be rebuilt anew? With my own.."God Bless the child that's got his own". That's got his own".

Photo by: MARO

A SUNFLOWER FROM INDIA

I was reminded. If you want good things to happen, be happy when you pray.

The place where just about everything that is made, said or done is offered as a prayer…Susan from Auroville, India

A Porta Nova, A New Door

Yesterday, Golden Day. An Honoring of a Dream. Angels Singing. Friendships Lingering in agreement and Blessing one another.
A House, A Home, A Refuge. A place of nuturing and warmth. Of Healing of the Spirit, Body and Mind.
"The, "Herbert H. & Sofia P. Reuner Cancer Support House
Kingston, NY

I Feel Your Prayers

Woke up this morning for the first time, calmly and peacefully to the smells of Mother Earth. I am high today on Humanities gifts. It truly is a roller coaster ride. Perhaps, it has always meant to be that way. We must never stifle our pain nor our Divinity. It is our process to a higher consciousness.

by Phi
A Reminder: I am not fixed in time.
I am not fixed in space.
The person I think I am is actually a lingering memory.
The real me lies beyond the five senses.
I am participating in the flux of the cosmos at every instant.
The whole universe conspired to bring about this present moment.
This is Phi's prayer this Day.
From: The Third Jesus, Deepak Chopra

Speak

I don't know what happened since "Feelings". The only Peace was when I was digging in the dirt. (Making a place for beauty and growth) makes sense. I dig it! This Cat has been silenced.

Feelings

The next two weeks feels like two long railroad tracks along side each other. Compassion has increased a thousandfold. Bless the brave heros and survivors who came before us and who will come after. My heart is filled with passion for them all.

by: Phi

Quote

"Where there is discomfort, there lives the highest presence that you seek. Be still and know to be transformed in the revealed insight".
by: Phi

Debbie Harry

A Good Friend of the "Hagopian's, "Barb Morrison", wrote this song for "Debbie Harry". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKVVzCW4lzM

Nicolas Jon

There he was in a field of green alone with his Father. Moving back and forth and right to left and back to himself again. How Glorious and beautifully strong his youthful presence. Then he suddenly turned around and ran towards me with his arms open to embrace me. Tears of joy, we knew each other, he had not forgotten. I held him close to me. My number one Grandson.

by: Nanna

Quote

"LESS PINK, MORE RESEARCH"
by: Diana (Nutmeg spice girl)

Warrior Trance

My friend Nemo gave me this chant tonight on a beautiful stone.
Photo by: MARO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yv8bHRHYyvM&feature=related

Given

Every other Night is the flame that ignites the sins of the soul.
How does one remain content and in peace in Dali Lama delight?
For in truth we are that Light, we choose.
As the cleansing renews it takes with it, all other's undesirables with it as well. We are multi-tasking in our healing planes.
Believe!

Transitions

Today I had Christopher give me a buzz cut. Just to stop my hair from hurting. My first reaction was "I don't look like Demi Moore". haha. Not sure what I look like. A Monk maybe. At least my head does not feel like someone is pulling my hair. It was a memory flashback, of when my mother use to wash my hair. I gave her such a hard time, mainly because of the pain. I think she washed my hair like washing clothes on a scrub board. I guess none of this is funny. I always had a problem with anyone touching my head. Fear it would hurt...who would have thunk it? That here I am in this situation, in my life. Let this be my prayer. Forgiveness for the Fear and the Anguish.
Buddhamomma

Comedy Relief

Doctor, doctor , who is there? Me, I just got off the boat". "Who, me no gotta the boat!"

St. Elmos Fire

This is my third week. Is this Hell? I am burning off unwanted killing cells along with my Joy for Life. None of it matters I suppose, if the end result is what they say it will be. What happens to the other parts of this body of mine? Emotional, Spirit and Mind Body? They are put away and left dormant while the physical body pretends to die. Should I be angry and lash out, or remain calm in my knowing and let it just go? It seems bigger then what I can do about it. All I know is the Universe wakes me up at 3:16 in the morning and I wring my hands and moan. Is this all there is?
The name of St. Elmo is attributed to an Italian derivation of Sant 'Ermo or St. Erasmus (circa 300 A.D.), the patron saint of the early Mediterranean sailors challenging the powers of storm and sea in small sailing vessels.

Cats sleeping together

NOW IF I CAN JUST GET A COOL CAT TO SLEEP WITH ME. haha
Once my hair stops hurting. I am hoping a night cap helps. ahh hat!

philly pooh

Most Grateful For All The Cool Cats In My Life

JUST A LITTLE LOVING GOES A LONG, LONG WAY.

Louis and Momma Lion

Louis is growing up and losing his baby look. Wow where does the time go?

photo by Perry Hagopian

Quote

"Love is not a feeling, it is an Ability". from: a movie